U.S. defeats Brazil the hardest way conceivable
(Editor’s Note: Yeah, I know the game happened last week but life, writing speeches and doing homework for summer school got in the way.)
OH. MY. GOD.1
The 1980 Olympic Miracle on Ice and 1999 Women’s World Cup Champion teams, you have just been blown out of the water. So far out of the water you are currently in danger of hitting the International Space Station.
The U.S. v. Brazil game will go down as an epic.
It was a game between the world’s No. 1 (U.S.) and No. 3 (Brazil).
I mean, common, 68 minutes into the game the score was tied 1-1, on an own goal and a penalty kick.2
Yes, an own goal on Brazil in the second minute and a Marta PK in the 68th minute was the only scoring for the first 90 minutes of the game—only in soccer.
It was the greatest sports game I have ever watched. Period. I still get the chills thinking about Abby Wambach header.
…
You will usually fine me in front of the television screaming, frantically gesturing, and withering in pain on the couch only during the football season—not fútbol for the soccer snobs—as I watch the Chargers waste away yet another great season.
But there I was elevated heart rate, lightly sweating, on the edge of the couch, voice starting to fade as I watched women’s soccer. Yes, I was getting a little too emotionally involved in a women’s soccer game, and no I am not ashamed to admit it. Though looking back, if somebody saw me doing this I would have to return a few man points.
So there I was sitting on my couch, the game was well past the 100 minute mark and I felt like I had just run a few miles, my heart was racing, I was sweating and I was breathing heavily—I have never been that exhausted after doing so little.
Then it happened, the clock hit 122, Megan Rapione kicked a cross and Abby Wambach headed the ball towards the top right corner of the goal AND THE BALL JUST MISSED THE KEEPERS HANDS SETTLING IN THE BACK OF THE NET.
OH. MY. GOD.
My brain just imploded—major sports-gasim.3
It is one of those things, as Rapione took the ball down the field right as the announcer said, “this might be the U.S. last chance…” she smashes a perfect cross to Wambach with the header. Michelangelo could not have painted it more perfectly.
These are the same two players that had errant passes and misdirected headers in the games leading up to the Brazil game.
Oh—and not that it is a big deal or anything—but the U.S. was playing a (wo)man down after Rachel Buehler got a red card defending Marta.4
…
It is hard to empathize enough how late in the game the goal was scored. After the goal Brazil managed one shot and a corner kick and extra time was over. Done. Finished. Yet the score was somehow 2-2.
It was so late in the game there is really no sports cliques to describe how unbelievably last minute the goal was.
It’s not bottom of the ninth two outs 3-2 pitch with the bases loaded down three runs. It was more along the line of bottom of the ninth, two outs, the 3-2 pitch, with the bases empty, down three runs with the pitcher at bat and no pinch hitter available.
It’s not the fourth quarter with five seconds left needing a 50 yard Hail Mary to win the game. It was more like the fourth quarter with five seconds left needing a 50 yard Hail Mary and the third string quarterback is under center—the same third string quarterback that’s only game action was seven snaps in a preseason.
The equalizer wasn’t in regulation, or in added time for regulation, or even in either one of the two overtime halves. It was in the added time for the second overtime half. But it wasn’t scored just in added time it was scored IN THE LAST POSSIBLE MINUTE OF THE GAME.
…
What I am trying to get across how improbable impossible (unrealistic, unthinkable, inconceivable, unimaginable, far-fetched, absurd) the U.S. win was.
In 100 years when the video gets lost of the game the Mythbusters are going to do a show and unsuccessfully try to prove that it was possible for the U.S. to win the game.
Even the 2004 Boston Red Sox didn’t think the U.S. had a shot to comeback.
They played a half of the game with only 10 players, the officiating was terrible at best and they somehow found a way to win.
It was one of those game that you will remember forever, and you will keep asking yourself how in the hell did they manage to win?
Footnotes:
1 Using all caps and only one word sentences are generally frowned upon in journalism. In this case there were no other words to use, I am still peeling brain matter off my skull.
2 A re-kick of the originally blocked penalty kick no less—everybody is saying Brazil getting that call was improbable, no, try impossible, when does that EVER happen? (Apparently never, judging by the uproar over the call.)
3 Sports-gaism: Like an organism, but it happens when you are watching a sporting event and something beyond amazing happens. It can happen regardless of the sport or gender that is playing.
4 I was excited to watch Marta play after hearing she was the best female player in the world. Then as the game went on I started to like her less and less, then after throwing a tantrum I (along with the fans in the stadium) was no longer a fan. She turned into any male American athlete, it was like the time A-Rod (Alex, not Amy) smacked the first baseman’s glove trying to dislodge the ball while running down to first base. It was just a dick move, grow up and act like the worlds best player.
